An interlude in music is an instrumental section that links different parts of a song or serves as a transitional piece between tracks on an album.
(I hope you guys like the new thumbnails. They’ve been fun to make.)
This has been one hell of a summer. As you know, I am on campus for the summer. Tonight is my last night here (even though I come back in only two weeks UGH), and this summer has been an…interesting one. I lack one word that adequately encapsulates all that this summer has been. I’ve never had a summer like it. Even though I was alone a lot this summer, it didn’t feel lonely like summers previously felt.
Summers are usually hard for me, I would waste days away sitting in my room watching tv, playing sims, reading (although very rarely), or getting dressed up to take pictures. I think it’s normal to be a teenager who is averse to going outside. I mean we live in times where cities and towns aren’t investing in places for youth to hang out that isn’t school or juvenile detention. I think the increase in my satisfaction this summer comes from me having a job and with that having money to spend on things I wanna do, or just fucking Ubers because travel is so damn expensive these days my god. I won’t act as though the majority of my money didn’t go to Uber eats, but that was necessary for survival--I’m serious, they are not feeding us on campus this summer (UGH).
I’ve spent much of this summer on the train either traveling home or back to campus. I love sitting on the train and going to sleep, but I also like seeing the commuting business “professionals”. they’re young. they sit in the window seat—always with their laptop out, headphones in, and type away. Sometimes their tabs are open in gmail or a random excel sheet. their cellphone is never far away and they grab a quick “business call” with their iced coffee right in tow. they talk about the london office and analytics, statistics, all the -ics. I never want to be like them. I love riding the train. I can sit for two hours without mindlessly scrolling on my phone because the serenity of the movement and the constant changing views just does…everything for me. it’s the same with car rides, i think i enjoy the drive places more than i actually enjoy being at them. it’s the best place to people watch—if you’re careful. i sneak a glance at the lady with the…interesting tattoos in front of me. her tattoos literally look like pages out of a coloring book, but like, in a bad way.
However, the majority of my joy this summer has come from my job and hanging out with friends (new and oldish). Let’s start with my job. What do I do? I mind my business. Kidding, I honestly can’t tell you in a few words with or even a title what it is that I do lmaooo, and I love that! I do everything and nothing and I’m glad to have an internship where my job can range from landscaping, to attending city meetings, or hanging out with the cutest kids ever (oh my goodness). I have my hand in a ton of bags and I am having so much fun being in rooms I honestly don’t know how I got in. This summer has involved me planning a lot of children’s programming (of which I have no experience with, but am kinda good at?) I love kids, I just don’t know if they’ll always love me (what do you say to them??), but to my surprise I’ve made a lot of tiny friends and being able to play a role in giving them fun educational things to do during the summer has brought a huge smile to my face. If only I’d taken Intro to Ed when all my friends took it because now I’m tempted. I’m not gonna do that though. I’ve somehow found myself involved with a solar environmental justice group, and we got to plan some sessions for a summer enrichment program in North Philly. The kids there are so silly, but super smart and kind. I got three goodbye hugs! Unprovoked! I’m so sad that I won’t see them again for awhile now that my internship and summer housing has ended. We learn so much in school and my struggle with feeling good about getting good grades is what’s the point if we’re not applying it to real life. I’m glad that I’ve found a way to make being in college feel meaningful, because that was a worry of mine. When I came to college I had no idea what I wanted to do with life and I worried I’d be going just to say I’d gone (and because I really didn’t have a choice not to). I’m glad that things have figured itself out and that I’ve gotten a chance to give back what I’m learning.They had so many questions about solar panels and knew that glass was made out of sand (I didn’t even know that) and they had such creative ideas about the things they’d want in their ideal city. I sat there smiling at them like an idiot, but they really made my day. For the other half of my internship, I’m up to my regular diggs doing EJ work in Chester, PA. We organized a youth gardening event, the second annual one! The kids did not play about their plants and they put us to WORK. I’m talking 6+ plants per KID. I was being pulled in all directions and scolded for allegedly not helping them (by said kids), but they didn’t need my help! We showed them once and they remembered the steps. Then I was tasked with collecting berries for the house our friend Joy was making for the squirrels in the tree. It was beautiful. The event and Joy’s squirrel home. Even though I detest living on campus, I have thoroughly enjoyed my internships, the people I’ve met and the things I’ve gotten to experience. How special it is to build a community for yourself with people who owe you nothing, but help you and view you as family anyways. SO much LOVE <3 In addition to the greatness that is my summer assignment, I’ve seen TWO legends with my TWO eyeballs. Someone please slap me. (don’t). Yes you heard it right my friends, I saw Beyoncé (queen) and Drake (bae, platonically) live in concert in Philadelphia and New York City. I attended each concert with two of my favorite cousins (even though I don’t have favorites, everyone is my favorite!) but i got to see my favs with my favs gahhhh. Seeing Beyoncé put me in a state of shock and seeing Drake made me want to conquer the world.
They both are so creative which makes me want to be creative and intentional with what I create.
Beyoncé is detail oriented and you can tell with her production. I also admire that she does things on her own time (the visulas sis?...), lol, but no really, good art takes time and sometimes I rush because i just want to get things out, but it’s good to let things sit and go back to it another time. On the other hand, Drake spits out music every year. He has never taken time off, and we can debate whether that’s affected his music later, but he’s still managed to be a certified hit maker I fear. Drake always pays homage to songs and artists that have come before him (as does Beyoncé) so they both inspire me to take from the old to create my own new. I just admire them both as artists because of how they incorporate their hometowns, their community, their family, their love for other artists, and fun into their work. Yeah, that’s all I have to say on that for now because I’m not gonna stan out in this post, but this was my first time EVER seeing Drake semi in-person and I cried, girl…
Moving on, I saw Barbie! It was a really cute movie that I honestly want to watch again, not in the second row of the movie theater, lmaooo. Hot kinda secret take, I hate the movies. I love the idea of going to a movie theater, but the screen is genuinely so large that it gives me a headache. I wanna sit in the way back or in the middle cause chile, I could see but also couldn’t at the same time. I’m writing an article/essay on fast-fashion and I am going to incorporate some Brabie takes in there <3
Alright, I’ve done all the sentimental deep shit..lets get into some mess! There are lots of hard hats on campus cause ya know, the whole place is under construction. I’m supposed to make these posts when I’m inspired, but I’ve been pretty uninspired lately. The only inspiration I’ve received is from when I talked myself down from a cannabis induced anxiety attack. I always worry about what I write about here in case future employers see this and decide to hire me, but at the same time I need to be authentic about life so here we go. Please still hire me, I am more than the weed that I smoked. I smoked something called fire and ice and bitch…I felt like I was in a looney tunes episode. At first it was fun and everything was a thousand times funnier, but when it was time for me to walk home, oh boy. When I have a bad reaction to weed it quite literally feels like I’m about to have a heart attack. My heart starts beating outside of my chest so much that I can feel my left arm throbbing. It gets really scary LMAO. The first time this happened I said I would never touch an edible again, and I haven't! This wasn't edible and yet…My delightful friend explained to me that this was likely called fire and ice because they mixed an upper and a downer. Hence why it started off fun, and ended with me talking myself down from a slight panic attack. I learned that you cannot die from weed (unless it's laced) or from a panic attack so that aided in bringing my influenced self down from my state of panic. Lesson learned, ask what is in the weed (a basic lesson, I know, I know, don’t be disappointed in me). To be honest, I would do it again but I would just stay in my room and watch a movie or something. I think weed induces any anxiety I feel so I cannot do that and go to a party for example.
I downloaded Tinder cause I was bored and I texted this dude for all of three days, felt like a month but whatever. My mom doesn’t read this but if she decided to start today, please stop reading. My mom is fifty years old and she will not stop sending me reels. She is so gen x like a millennial boomer for real. Funnily enough some of them, when not about how gross meat is or how not to get scammed on the street, are videos with I guess good relationship advice about not being with someone who doesn’t treat you right etc. Ugh cringe. I absolutely hateeee relationship talk in regards to myself. It just feels so serious and cringe like let's not do all of that. But, I was looking through my anonymous asks and someone just said “Love life” so I’m guessing you want to hear about my love life which is pretty much non-existent lmaoo. So back to the dude. He was pretty cool and I think he restored my faith that there are decent men in the world, the bar is in hell but like he was pretty alright.
We were supposed to hang out, he was gonna take me to a jazz club (!), but alas I was too scared to meet him in person like I just do not want to get kidnapped or have to fight for my life in any regard right now. If we were in NYC I probably would’ve gone, but I’m in a city I’m not familiar enough with to make escape routes in so it would’ve been too much for me. I told him I was too busy right now (which is true!) so this probably wasn’t going anywhere. He was cool about it, and twas the end. He’s only here for the summer, but people have a weird way of popping back up so if it was meant to be maybe something will shake, idk. (Note from the author: It has now been three weeks since I wrote these paragraphs and I am convinced that this man was the love of my life and I fumbled. However, certain friends exist that a Nigerian man could not be the love of my life, but what do they know.)
I’m watching Love Island right now, oh brother. It’s good tv but it’s hurtinggg me. This is bad relationship pr, honestly there has been so much bad relationship pr via reality tv lately. I watched couples therapy on showtime and queer ultimatum on netflix--I don’t get why people marry each other if they don’t like one another. I get insisting to stay married to someone because it's a commitment, but if y’all are not married, BREAK UP! I am so pro-break up in like a joking way but also so serious break up.
I realize that I don't wanna date anyone seriously right now (not like I’m getting offers, YET(!) LMAOO. Bro the amount of people that have complimented me unprovoked this summer is a little WOWOW. This is gonna be a long parentheses but there was this FINE security guard at Urban Outfitters and I swear on everything there was some kind of tension there. Alright, LMAOO, but he will be seeing me again when I return home!)
Romance department has been dead for me for like forever, but I’m telling you something is coming. Okay, back to my point. I am too young and turnt and impressionable to have a serious relationship right now and that’s why I think I react so ickkky to anything in that realm. Like Tinder dude was texting me everyday, which is good(!) but it was just questions about my day or saying we should do this together, but we weren't talking about anything so leave me alone lmao. I know that’s sick and he didnt do anything wrong but knowing someone is on my phone that I have to respond to is annoying, unless I really like them. I just don’t wanna owe anybody anything right now and I hope this is making sense. I like my freedom so in the words of love island someone would have to do a lot to turn my head. I need an absolute bombshell!
In other news, I’ve been going to the gym. Walking on the treadmill after a…stressful event, is so helpful. It calms my anxiety and gives my mind the freedom to wander while also hearing the consistency of my feet hitting the mat and my heart pumping. It is also so fun to stretch. I spent most of my fitness training course last semester stretching so I can do a split. And I got pretty close! I’m out of practice and I need to get back to stretching like that again. So my intention for going to the gym is to just move my limbs. I’m working out my brain 24/7 and giving no attention to my body, and that just isn’t healthy.
All in all, this summer has exposed me to life as a baby adult. From taking care of feeding myself (rip my bank account), to hanging out late on my own for the first times (don’t do me i didn’t go outside in high school lmaooo), to having a JOB, this summer has shown me that life is a lot more fun when you’re an adult and have your own money. THE SUMMER IS NAWWT OVER YET, but I am now at home taking a break so thought I’d try to summarize some highlights. This summer has been the link between my childhood self and actual adulthood and I am excited to see how everything connects. Alright that’s all, thank ya for reading. Have a good remainder of your summer break!
My songs of the summer (in no particular order):
Can I call you rose? by Thee Sacred Souls
Love like that by Snoh Aalegra
Be my summer by Snoh Aalegra
Cameras/ Good Ones Go Interlude by Drake
Fell in Love by Brent Faiyaz
Overtime by Bryson Tiller
Do 4 Love by Snoh Aalegra
Helmet by Steve Lacy (!!)
Time (is) by Solange
The Age of Pleasure (Album) by Janelle Monae
Sprinter by Dave and central cee (!!!)
Little Things by Jorja Smith
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