I don't think I've ever written about love on here. It always seemed very cringe to me because other people reading about my deepest darkest desire for love seems...ew. It's almost inauthentic because I talk about it so much in real life and yet it is nowhere to be found on my digital space. I mean, the closest I've come to talking about it is in "the crush" and even that was kind of hard for me to share. It just feels lame to admit that I think about those things, and to put it into writing for other people to see is even lamer.
It's not like I feel this way about talking about it in real life. I'm an open book, however like Shakespeare said, when you write about someone they'll become immortal. I don't know if I want to immortalize the bafoonery I've witnessed or gone through.
On Pinterest I have a board called "fairy ish" that's essentially pictures of a bunch of typewriter quotes. They're all really short and poetic, but to me, they chronicle what love is. I'd want to be immortalized by one of those little typewriter quotes.
she made me smile,
and that was worth all the while
i waited for her to be mine.
by then we only had but so much time,
but i could not whine.
for if she only knew that i die
every time her eyes met mine.
- k.m
Or something like that, ya know lol.
I want a really poetic love, like the ones that you see in rom coms--Poetic Justice, Love and Basketball, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, 13 Going on 30, Love Jones, I could go on. I love a good rom com, I've probably seen them all. I know that that's possible because I've seen it happen for other people. Do you ever have moments of your life that feel straight out of a movie? I do, but maybe I romanticize everything too much.
I think for a long time I've pondered over who I'll end up with. Will I end up with anybody at all? It's not a weird thought to have. I don't know why it's so embarrassing to desire non-platonic love it just a basic part of being a human. Sometimes it's just gross to admit you care.
I say that my soulmate got mailed to another planet accidentally because the niggas we got here are WEIRD. Even with the bar being dangerously low, they still trip over it. But this post isn't about complaining about the monstrosity we have to deal with over here. The same way I admitted my hopes and dreams for my future life in my american dream post, is the same way I will immortalize all I hope for in whatever love I end up encountering.
I believe everyone deserves a love, long or short, that allows them to feel like they can breathe. A love where they feel airy and light. A love where their jaw hurts from smiling so much. A love where they know that out of everybody in the whole wide world they will always have someone to choose them first. A love where they don't question why they are loved or if they are deserving of the love they are receiving. A love where they don't question if it makes sense because it just feels right.
EW. Okay way too much sappiness for me I need a breather, whew.
Alright, I'm back. Anywho, I want someone to write about me the way the Tumblr typewriter girlies, and Shakespeare, write about the objects of their affection. Immortalization babyyy. I remember reading the Shakespeare poem in class and just being mind-blown because it made so much sense. It was basically a sonnet about his lover (or his friend) and he was saying that he would be immortal because writing is read for centuries and there we were a few centuries later reading about ole girl, like WHAT?! Crazy. Mind Blown. Sonnet 18. Yuh.
To close, I guess I'd like a cool love one day. Of course I do. It feels weird "waiting" for it to happen and maybe that's the problem. I don't know. So much I still don't know. Hopeful to see what the future holds.
Also, stream Love Life season 2 because Mia and Marcus are my one true pairing.
Example of the typewriter aesthetic stuff.
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