Now, I don't know how much I am able to share. I have refrained from saying too much because I don't know if I can get in trouble from talking about the absolutely rancid vibes the people at this school and this institution have so understand that what I do end up sharing is only a fraction of the nastiness that occurs within these walls. The people at this school, especially the men, are going to hell I fear. And for my atheists, they are just going to encounter some very very bad karma and juju and whatever else, I don't know. I just wish so much negativity upon their lives. This is not even on some men are trash shit (even though I wouldn't be wrong in saying that) or just a broad generalization, I believe that at least 75% of the men on this campus are going to hell because they are terrible humans, and I hate to say it. I usually have so much hope for humanity, but that has been shattered. My little liberal arts school is just a mock trial of the real world and it is certainly accurate. Never have I ever witnessed and been made aware of so much scandal, disrespect, racism, sexism, white privilege, and just the lowest of the low of humanity and I wish I was exaggerating. It sounds so trivial and "of course" when laid out by these terms, but to hear about certain situations...I just never leave a conversation without being dumbfounded. My jaw has not left the ground. Ignorance is bliss my friends and boy don't I miss that bliss. I would not walk my good dog on this campus. The levels of...I don't even have the words oh my goodness. But alas, this is the case with any college campus and I don't even think this is the worst case. The flowers are pretty, the buildings are nice, the professors are amazing, and the curriculum is good, but the white students (+ our fallen soldiers of all shades aka the coons) and the admin...good luck Charlie. That's all I can say. Never have I ever been filled with so much pent up anger that I cannot release. I am learning so much, the good and the bad, however I don't know if it's worth it. I'm afraid that I'm becoming desensitized to it all, that it's becoming normal. I don't claim to be some moral angel who can do and will never do any wrong, but those with privilege (men, rich, white, and those fulfilling one or more of these parameters) here do so much wrong I don't even know if wrong is a word that can capture it all anymore. And they get away with it unscathed lolololololololololololololol. Who's really surprised though. It's giving get my degree and peace out. Don't touch nothing, don't look at nothin, don't ask for anything, no no no no. Ew! Just like a communal shower, don't touch the walls, don't drop the soap, and always wear shower shoes to create a barrier between you and the grime. That's all for now. More in three years. Y'all are nasty I wish for horrid things for you. Whew this was a lot of negativity, I hate that this environment has made me have to deal with so much negativity! I try to be such an optimistic person. Next year I hope to be in a state where I don't even think about some of the vile creatures I share a campus with. I will be completely unfazed. Yay. This campus is not all bad, that's why it's hard to vocalize the shittyness of its inhabitants because there are so many aspects to this community that I love and that I don't want to discredit. There are so many reasons why I believe this school is the right place for me to be at, and even with all the negativity I understand that there are lessons to be learned from the badness of this institution that will prepare me for the lowest of the low of humanity in the future I guess.
It's so bittersweet (hella bitter at some points tho). This doesn't serve as my first year reflection post, but I would like to say that I am very grateful for so many of people I have met. They reinforce the fact that there are good humans in this world and that humanity is not doomed. I can't wait to watch them take over the world. Lord knows we need their help.
Disclaimer:
*All of this is my personal opinion and alleged, you can't sue me I won't allow it!*
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