People misunderstand Social Anxiety. They think it means that people are afraid to talk to other people and yes it does stem from fear but like any form of anxiety, you can't control it. I don't have anxiety and I don't consider myself to have social anxiety to the point where it hinders me, so I cannot speak for everyone. I know a girl and she's very vocal about the fact that she has social anxiety. In my head, I always thought she was exaggerating because...I'm sorry...she's just dramatic sometimes--if she reads this, no offense. But, I've realized that I've had those same feelings. My chest gets tight, my body gets cold, I start shaking. Nobody's ever seen this because obviously you can't see this things, but that's the reaction I get sometimes when I'm faced with interacting with other people--family, friends, strangers. Sometimes I have to talk myself out the door. I look in the mirror and try to ease myself with a pep-talk, saying "Nobody's staring at you", "You're fine", "Just walk straight." Now, this isn't an everyday issue for me. Most days it's not an issue, or I can talk myself down enough, but it's not like that for everybody.
I was shy when I was younger but being shy isn't synonyms with social anxiety. Social anxiety does not mean you are shy! They don't mean the same thing so don't try to play off someone's Social Anxiety by saying they're just shy. The girl I was talking about before is an extrovert if I've ever seen one. She's always speaking confidently in class, she talks to me even though we're not really friends, and seems to be friendly with a lot of people. I consider myself an ambivert. Social Anxiety is just as common as any other anxiety, you can be anxious in one moment but that doesn't mean you have anxiety. People do overuse the word anxiety, but that's another story. Some people are more anxious than others, just like social anxiety affects different people in different ways. I literally almost had a panic attack (for the first time) the other day because I was entering a situation I thought was going to be terribly awkward and it made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't breathe for a second. I got all my usual symptoms: chest tightness, cold body, and shakes. This has happened to me a lot but I just thought it was me being nervous or dramatic.
I'm still not certain how to make social anxiety understandable for people who don't suffer from it. Telling by the way everyone judged Summer Walker, they just want a two-dimensional definition/understanding of it, when in reality its so much more complex and it hits you at different times. I think my Social Anxiety stems from insecurity; I don't want people to judge me, or stare at me. Social Anxiety has stopped me from going outside for weeks at a time--mainly during the summer since its so easy to get stuck in the house. I overthink everything and time everything. "If I leave now, there won't be many people outside and I can make it back in the house before the school kids start to get out", or "If I take this bus at this time then I won't have to stand at the bus stop by myself and the people in the cars won't stare at me." Omg, I hate crossing the street sometimes or walking on a block when the light is red because I feel like everyone in the lined up cars is staring at me. Sometimes, I can barely go to the corner store if I can't plan how I'll enter the store and how I'll give the man his money. All of that is my Social Anxiety. It's not terrible, but its there and little parts of it happen everyday. It can get really bad, more when I'm already feeling insecure--but that's just how my social anxiety affects me. It can be many things for different people. So I ask you to be patient and understanding, don't make fun of people for being Socially Anxious--it's not cool and its really a whole process going on in their brain. Don't think oh she can have a full blown conversation with a stranger, but can't walk into a party...Like different things cause stress for different people. The best thing you can do is ask the person what typically triggers their anxiety (even though they may not know because everything can) or just support them when they might feel overwhelmed. Educate yourself.
Here are some facts about Social Anxiety from WebMD:
All socially anxious people have different reasons for dreading certain situations
It typically begins at age 13
No one thing causes socially anxiety, however it can be linked to a history of abuse or teasing. Additionally, shy kids are more likely to be socially anxious adults along with kids with overbearing or controlling parents.
Social anxiety can lead to low self-esteem, negative thoughts, depression, and sensitivity to criticism.
Please don't self-diagnosis yourself because you fit one of the criteria above because it's insulting, also don't diagnosis anyone else. Social anxiety effects me and its really not a fun time, I'm good at pushing past it but other people have more severe cases. I've never talked about this with anyone, nor have I talked about my feelings with going outside and basic interactions that I overthink. I wrote this because I have suffered from it, its only gotten really bad like twice in my life but I still have daily issues with it. This wasn't for me to get on the mental health bandwagon and it doesn't define me, its just helpful to be able to identify what's happening with me without just belittling it to shyness. Lucky for me, mine is mild because there are some really horror stories of people who deal with severe social anxiety. On a lighter note, how fitting is it that the acronym for Social Anxiety Disorder is SAD. LMAOOOObecausemylifeissadOOOOO! I'm kidding life is an adventure and I'm slowly checking off my bucket list.
Thanks for reading! Tell a friend! Okay bye!
PS. If you know me, you know I like that precious alone time and going M.I.A. That is separate from my Social Anxiety...hopefully that's not confusing. Just think of them as my Social Battery and the other as my Social Anxiety. I know, confusing, I know. But, thank you for understanding and being patient with me I greatly appreciate your support. (See what I did there? Well of course you don't because you didn't read hard things i had to learn!)
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