*I've tried writing posts about what's happening in the world right now, but they're not quite as polished as I want them to be. It's such an important topic and I don't want anything I write to be misconstrued, so when I edit those, I'll share my experience with all of this.*
I'm on a social media break right now. So far it's been great because I've spent a lot of time thinking and actually forming my own opinions LMAO, jk. I have a brain okay! But, what I mean by that is I'm having a natural flow of thought, uninterrupted by distractions. Its only for a week because too much is happening right now for me to be disconnected, but I needed it. I suggest you do so as well. ANYWAYS, I'm a thot for self-care and reflection so I've been doing that recently. Here are some little thoughts I've written in my little-ole notes app that I would like to share:
1. Stop Saying Sorry.
I'm still working on this myself, but it is soooo important. This means stop saying sorry for unnecessary things, like "omg I'm sorry I'm so dumb"or just in general saying sorry for attempting to speak your mind. Saying sorry repeatedly is not only annoying (yes girl, annoying) but also very self-belittling. Unless you have a valid reason to apologize--admitting fault or mistake, then there is no reason to keep saying sorry for absolutely nothing. Scientifically, women apologize more than men (yes, its a girl thing). We apologize for everything, and we should stop because it makes us look weak and less assertive. You are smart and more than likely you are right! Turn your sorry's into thank you's--> "Sorry for making you wait" into "Thank you for waiting for me." Try it, you'll feel more powerful instantly.
2. People are gonna judge you regardless of what you do, so at a certain point you just gotta do what makes you happy.
I've spent so much time trying to make other people comfortable with me. This more so applies to when I'm outside; I wipe off the lipstick I applied because I don't want anyone to stare, I wear sweaters over my shirts because I don't want people to look at my stomach, and etc. People will judge me for everything, just because they can. Celebrities have taught me best--people will want you to change something about yourself, and when you finally do they'll judge you for something else. So you know what I say to that? One giant middle finger high in the air! Other people's thoughts about you don't define you, because at the end of the day they don't know you like you know you. What joy do you get from suppressing your true-self to make others comfortable? (Sidenote: I took a walk at the very white park today, whenever I go there's the occasional stare but nothing too crazy. I usually just walk regularly with my earbuds in my ears and bop to the music, but you know what I did today? I danced. I was bopping my head moving my arms, doing a little wiggle like the true spirit I am. You know why? Because I felt like it. It made me happy and one just can't not breakout into full dance while listening to Michael Jackson ;).
3. Read. More. Books.
Reading books is so important because not only does it get your brain moving but it teaches you so much. From words, to how to form sentences, how to tell a story, and how to enjoy a story. I love YA (young adult) books because it's basically wattpad books. No but seriously, books are so good and can be a form self-care. Books have been my escape from a stressful school day, they have been better than their movies *cough The Hate You Give cough*, and they make you feel understood. I don't know how else to stress this. If you used to read a lot of books but stopped, GET BACK INTO IT! I stopped but then started again, and it was a stress reliever. Plus the endings give me something to look forward to--a leg up because you can really only make sense of the ending of a book by reading the whole thing. If you have designated school reading, that doesn't count. Start your out personal library. It is so liberating to read because you can and because you want to. Simply because you're opening yourself up to a new story. I know it can be hard to make time for reading, but you should. (Top 10 Book List coming soon...)
4. Work Hard in Silence.
Everyone does not need to know your next move. Even your closest friends, and I'm not saying that because I want you to keep secrets, but I'm saying that because we tend to announce our actions before they even take place. A goal is so much more satisfying when no-one really knows that you were working for it--with no one to put down your aspiration and no negative manifestations. Not saying that your friends don't want you to be successful, but keeping it on the low will make you wanna work harder, simply to be able to say that you made it and achieved it. I've got some goals that nobody knows about, but that I'm actively working at, and hopefully the people close to me do as well. You don't have to announce something to make it valid, trust me I've done it myself and looked dumb because I gave up mid-goal.
5. If not now, then when?
Stop pushing off those same goals. I tend to live in the future, but the future is happening right now. It's never too early to start something you're passionate about, but it will be too late. That's it.
That's all folks! I hope something resonated with you and that you out some of the things I've learned into effect. I'm still learning how to do some of these things, well all of them, lol. But as long as you're aware, and actively trying to implement these things that's all that matters. Anywho message me on here if anything helped, or you have a tip for me that's been working for you. Love ya!
~okay bye! tell a friend!