When I laid my head to rest that night, I felt accomplished. It was New Years, and I was unfortunately approached by a handful of men, and each and every time I promise you I was minding my business. I cannot tell you how it happened. But, gone were my fears that I possess some kind of stealth beauty that can only be understood by the girls and the gays. Finally, confirmation that I didn’t have to dress in a way I wasn’t comfortable in, use some style of rizz taught by a friend, or attempt to appeal to the lack of depth within a man’s brain. All I ever have to do is be myself. The hoes love it, and I understand why (wink).
And now that I’ve gotten that, I understand how worthless it is. To an extent of course. It is nice to be admired, complimented, and considered entertaining, that’s not what’s worthless. Keep doing that. But materially, my life is unchanged. All people do is ask for an Instagram and never talk to you again. So while I’m glad there’s proof that you can meet people organically and have a good interaction, I want more focus on that IRL exchange and not a meaningless IG follow. Somehow that is the gold star that you've had a successful interaction with someone?
Meet me, experience me, and then never see me again. Allow me to only exist in your fondest memories and not within the pile of your IG following list. If you dare to experience more, do so in real life, but I cannot with the IG follow-to-exile, it annoys me.
I will tell you what I enjoyed though, with almost all of them the conversation was pretty good (from what I remember, eek!) and lasted a good minute. Top assets among them include: southern accent (oof), grrreaaat body (word to those frosted flakes ads, who was there?!), locs & grills, and bisexual (he was my favorite).
I was talking to one guy who I didn’t count in the handful, but now that I think about it maybe was? Or he was gay? I really never know with me, but anyways, while I was talking to him I was simultaneously holding a convo with two other people. I apologized for getting distracted and he said it was okay. He said something along the lines of me being good at holding conversations or talking to people and that I had a great smile. That was very kind of him and I really appreciated that compliment. I told him that I love talking to people, to strangers. And I do.
One of my favorite parts of all of this is being one hello away from unlocking an entire new experience that lies within the human next to you. For example, upon entry we were talking to this woman and then someone she was with came up and asked me if I had cocaine. I said “no, I don't", he said “oh okay, well I do”. One, why the fuck would I have cocaine. Two, if you already had cocaine, why are you asking me? Later in the night, a suitor (the bisexual) told me he’d done cocaine and what it was like. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do cocaine.
You guys have seen the ins and outs for 2025 lists trending online. Well, I have some of my own:
In
IRL interaction (talking to strangers)
Physical media and hobbies (magazines, books, pilates, learning a new skill)
House phones*
Playdates
Out
Dating apps
Being shy
“Medium-ugly” men
We as a society are lost and still finding our way back from the social pitfalls created by the pandemic. However, we were always on a high-speed descent into social oblivion. Well this year my friends, we need to work on our social skills. We need to return to the real world. And not to sound like a boomer, we need to look up from our phones and really observe where we are and who's around us.
*House phones is a joke, but also not. I saw a Tik Tok about that and long story short, house phones are great because they allow a separation between home and work. Because all of our devices have merged into one (our cell phones) we don’t have that healthy divide to set our work tech down for the day and yap with our bestie on our house phone. We also don’t call people anymore for no reason, which I am really a victim of. I hate to be on the phone, but why? When there are so many societal failings happening around us everyday, “pointless” “unproductive” communicating is really what we need to hold on to. Do not call me though, I'm not in that place yet LMAO.
But where I am at is trying to not fight my natural instinct to talk to people, to ask questions, and to be okay with never seeing them again. I want to use social media as a tool, not as a lifeline.
In December, I went to an event held by Black Girl Environmentalist in Dumbo, Brooklyn. It was held in a space that looked like a fashion magazine office (I was living for it). I went alone and was a little nervous, but honestly not really. If it went well, I’d leave with a great experience. If it went bad, well, I’d leave. It went amazing, I talked to some people and listened intently to the panelists as they spoke about their respective careers. I learned a lot--whether it be book recs or generally the different ways you can impart radical imagination in your climate career. I left feeling really glad that I’d attended, but also glad that social media helped me find that space.
In the world I imagine, technology is our friend. We don’t live through it. There are so many days where I want to deactivate all my social media accounts and solely exist in the real world. But I don’t, because I enjoy the communication link social media provides us. That’s how I’m talking to you right now, right? Even though social media algorithms have the opposite intention, I’d like to learn how to use social media in moderation, effectively. And that goes for all my technology.
We have beautiful, nuanced, experienced, humans all beside us. Imagine how much we miss out on simply being too scared, prideful, or devoid of care enough to say “hello”. Word to Hannah Montana, life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock. The world I wanna see starts when I start acting as though I live in that world. That’s how I’m approaching 2025, we’ll see how it goes.
Use your discretion tho. Don’t be talking to weirdos, my heart. There are still very much weird strangers outside.
Love and light,
kmilli <3
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