Behold, the age old question. The evolution of a black woman's worthiness. The determination of the amount of respect and adornment given to the black woman. All determined by a question that takes less than 30 seconds to ask.
When I was in eleventh grade (which was only really a few months ago) I sat in my fifth period physics class in a group of two other classmates. Somehow our discussion began to focus on my hair. The classmate proceeded to tell me that her mother swore my puff wasn't actually my hair. The classmate stated, "she [her mother] was like 'no, that's not her hair' and I was like", the classmate chuckled, "mom", another soft laugh, "that's her hair." I sat there and simply responded, "it's not, lol." There was almost a sense of pleasure on her face, a sense of reassurance. She then went on to tell other members of the class and it became a spectacle for all of 2 minutes. One boy said that he had been tricked yet again, he thought he had become a good detector for weaves and extensions, but my puff had fooled him--just another thing to be weary of from girls. Another boy quite literally yelled, "I knew that wasn't her her because black girls don't have hair like that." I was completely embarrassed, I had never been in a situation like that before, and as I looked around the classroom desperate for help from anybody, nobody did.
For some reason, black women are constantly asked if their hair is their's or not. Here is a thread from twitter:
That thread pretty much explains what I have to say, so the only thing I can really do now is express how that instance made me feel.
I love that puff, I remember the day I walked to the beauty supply store to buy that puff. I remember the exact location in the store where I found that puff, and I remember inserting my brand new debit card to pay $14.00 for that puff. I remember getting home, trying on the puff in the bathroom, and my face lighting up because it looked so natural..so real. Yeah it needed some trimming because it was a little to big, but the puff looked great and I was so excited to wear it. In reality, that puff is very similar to my natural hair texture (which is why I bought it). I had been so nervous that the puff would look bad or that people would see that it obviously wasn't MY hair, but all those fears went silent when I slicked back my edges, put on my puff, and saw the finished results. I looked like I could be one of those black girls on Pinterest, it was the style I always wanted.
That puff has saved my hair, when I was doing my own natural hair like that everyday in tenth grade my hair was shedding SO much, breaking off when I combed through it, and was so dry. I had numerous breakdowns because my own hair wouldn't cooperate or I had decided to wet it for "defined curls" not realizing that with my hair type, it would just shrink. Even though I went through that, tenth grade was the year I learned to love my hair and truly understand what it needs. And the puff helped with that, I wasn't stressing myself out in the bathroom every morning before school at 6am. It was simple. The puff is my signature hairstyle.
So imagine my heartbreak when the hair accessory of MY choosing was chastised. Suddenly, because I had chosen convenience and a LOOK over hassling with my hair, Black girls everywhere could no longer have the hair texture that my puff dawned. I swear that incident was like some shit you read about on twitter, not something that happens because some girl who's lying to herself about her own hair decides to tear you down. However, this is honestly not even about this one girl and that one incident, because it's not an isolated one.
People have asked me all the time, "is that your hair?" even when I'm just wearing my natural hair. WHY? A look is a look, so what does it being mine or not change about the look being a serve?! This question is always targeted at black women. I had no idea that white women wore extensions until a few years ago. I just assumed that if their hair was long, it was theirs (idk maybe like a normal human being), however it is interesting to note that long hair is never questioned on non-black women. This just further shows the roots of anti-blackness. When Black women wear weaves or wigs they get called "bald-headed", but when non-Black come do it, it's called extensions or "switching it up." Why are Black women not awarded to same versatility or the same levels of "minding your f**** business."
The puff is my signature hairstyle.
Ariana Grande's signature hairstyle is the ponytail. We all know it's no her's, yet...like normal people...we don't think the pony is less than iconic because it's not hers. So why the need to ridicule Black women? Why make them feel small?
Stop asking Black women if their hair is real because that same question is not posed to white women on a daily. That question is embarrassing, racist, and low-key colorist.